I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
