I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
