So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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