me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm at about main and main street
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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