Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize