so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My life is pants optional.
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