Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
