So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
