how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
