okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
A bitchslap is in order.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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