Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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