Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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