Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
