Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
