You work out of a Hotel?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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