member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
