i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
