Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
