I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
