I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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