some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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