Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Randomize
