SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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