I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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