i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
