Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
