He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
