they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
