Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize