I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
