i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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