To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
