and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
