Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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