NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize