Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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