dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
