who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
