How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
