Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
