I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
