his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Be still, my beating vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
