is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
