I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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