come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
