What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
