I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
