Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
