Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
