I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
