You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
