My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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