Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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