i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
