I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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