He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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