A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
