I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
