Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So much rum. So many feels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
