giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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