So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
