i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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