Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
